Miracle Worker
by deadliving
Summary: Anybody can be a miracle worker, just not of their free will.
1. Erst kommt Der Herrgott

**I had an Idea for a TToG comic, along while ago, but I decided to finish Some others, and it fell to the wayside. I found it yesterday, and decided i should write it as a three chapter story on FF because I'm rarely updating. **

**There are really only two stories I'm updating on a regular basis; Novel Conditions and I Heart You.**

**All other stories will be updated rarely, if at all for a while.**

**On with Miracle Worker**

Flippy's Van pulls up to the Night Club. Flippy pulls the stickshift into park and turns to his passengers. "You guys just call me when you need a ride."

Cuddles nods. "Thank's for driving us to the night club, Flips." he thanks. And he leaps out of the cabin with Giggles and Toothy following behind. Flippy looks in his mirrors, checking for pedestrians, when he spots Giggles' purse in his backseat. He reaches for it, and pauses. He'd have to go into the night Club to return it to her, he thought. He had taken pills, and gone to therapy today, and hopefully he won't flip out.

He grabs the hot pink purse, and hurdles thrrough the door. He walks over to the large ferret standing at the entrance. "Hey, Giggles left this in my car. Can I go in and give it to her?" The Ferret reluctantly steps to the side, and lets the green bear in.

Flippy glares at the strobe lights, EBM pounding in his ears and chest. He takes in a deep breath, and he procedes, weaving in between the dancers and staggering drunks. He looks all over, trying to find the red bow over the crowd's head.

Handy lifts his martini with his teeth, not obviously succeeding. He turns, with the glass smashing into Flippy's face. Handy steps back in shock, while Flippy brings his hands to his face. "Oh God, I'm so sorry, Flippy!"

He lifts his head, and pulls his hands away, revealing a set of fangs and green eyes. Handy's eyes widen, as Flippy grab a shard of glass. He jams it into Handy's neck, just above the collarbone. He then grabs Handy and begins swinging him around by the tail. Nutty, Russell, and Mime watch in horror and the corpse comes flying at them. Russell pushes Mime and Nutty out of the way, and is hit in the stomach by the beaver's incisors. Nutty falls into the stereo and convulses with thousands of volts of electricity. Mime falls on his face, and as soon as he looks up, the Green Mercinary of Death is waiting for him. Mime shutters, and utters an almost inaudibly squeak, unable to flee.

Suddenly, as if a Marionette puppet, Mime is tossed forward. Evil raises his knife to meet it, but it misses, and Mime's hand smother's Flippy's nose and mouth. Flippy could feel something reaching into his brain, and wrenching out his alter ego, and his eyes rolled back in his head. He collapses to the ground, unconscious.

The room felt silence, save the boombox beating away autonomously. Mime stood, gasping for breath, glaring at the bear crumbled upon the dancefloor.

Cuddles' eyes bulge like saucers when he realizes what's happening, and shouts "Holy Shit! Mime just smothered Flips to DEATH!"

Most people, Giggles included, shot Cuddles a condescending and unamuzed glare. Mr. Splendid comes out of nowhere with a pad and Pencil. "Move over 'Poodle chokes on his own balls', we've got a new headline- Local Mime kills War Vet'!"

Petunia rolls her eyes. "And you wonder why we never read the newspaper."

Mime smiles and bows, not truly knowing how to react to the sudden fame. The crowd applauds, totally ignoring the three dead bodies spilling their life fluid onto the dance floor. Splendid comes over and grabs Mime by the shoulder.

"Hey kid! You're going to be a celebrity, and I'll win the Pulitzer!" Splendid whispers into Mime's ears, and he shuffles the fawn out of the night club.

* * *

Now outside, the Splendid begins scratching the paper with the pencil, excitedly looking at the paper, then at Mime, repeating this over until the pencil stops. "Now, Mime, can you offer me some words on how you feel about the experience?" He asks.

Mime pulls his wrists up, as a Marionette would, and does a short, circular dance. He then begins pushing a mime vacuum cleaner, and then tosses it away. Splendid looks in bemusement at the little dance. "Well then..." and he scribbles some more jibberish down. "I guess that's all." He smiles pleasently. Mime couldn't help thinking he was like that cop he heard about killing people on Route 50 in Nevada. Splendid reaches out an azure hand to the young buck. Mime relectantly shakes the hand, even though the reporter accurately resembled the town hero.

The two walk away in seperate directions, and Mime stumbles upon a gruesome sight. He looks down and sees Fritz's corpse on the side of the road. Katz stood over him. She looks up at Mime.

"Don't worry, I called Cadaver Clean Up. It's so odd, cause his eyes suddenly turned green and he grew fangs. He ran out into traffic and got hit by The Mole." Katz said mildly, as if not speaking about a death.

Mime laid his eyes upon the corpse like a feather falling upon a pond. Instinctively, he reached down and rested his hands on Fritz's head. Blood flows backwards into fritz's wounds, and the spark of life returns to the beaver's eyes. Katz, on the other hand, collapses, bones snapping without cause.

"Holy Mother of God, you ressurected me!" He exclaims softly. "Are you Jesus? Ich bin bereit in Himmel geh'n." He asks, raising his voice. Mime shakes his head. Fritz looks away, averting his eyes. "Thank you for saving me, Mime-Tak" Mime stands up and backs away slowly, a bit disturbed by the lunatic beaver.

He walks away, to once again driven by the same force that drove him to cure Flippy and resuscitate Fritz (cause no one would do either of their own free will). He only now realizes He will never have his own free will again.


	2. Ohne weisse blut

**Thanks for the reviews.**

**Don't worry- The Handy part of Mime/Handy will be explained here. **

**And his is a rare story: Don't expect anymore TToG, Demons and deformities don't belong in HTF.**

Handy WAS there when Mime preformed his miracles. The thing is, he was dead when he smothered Flippy and rescucitated the hobo. Although, he wouldn't believe it if he saw it. _A prank. That was all it was. There is no magic. Those who pray are sadly mistaken._

Handy sat at the diner table, staring off into space, slumped over his cup of joe. The opening door let in a small breeze, which sent the straw tracing the rim of the mug. _Religion was just an idea that gave it's creators and posterity an edge over diseases and enemies. Miracles are accidents perceived as an act of God. But, then, why Mime?_

Petunia walks over carrying a plate of pancakes and bacon. She looks at the worker's vacant expression. In a soft voice, a wake-up-honey voice, she asks, "Is this seat taken?"

The Beaver jumps (also giving Petunia a fright), and he turns his head to see Petunia, a bit startled by his reaction, with his tray of breakfast. For a moment, the two stand frozen in time, until Handy gives a bewildered half-smile, "Uh...No it's not taken."

"Are you alright, Handy? You seem worried." Petunia asks, sitting herself next to Handy. Handy puts a knife in his mouth, and begins pecking at the pancake with the tip of the blade.

He spits the knife out onto a napkin, and shakes his head. "Do you believe in miracles?" He says, looking into Petunia's eyes. They were hesitant, almost nervous.

"I'll believe one if I see it." she smiles. She pauses for a moment, and turns to Handy. "Is it about Mime?" His eyes widen like saucers, and his pupils stare deep into Petunia's eyes. He stands up, and taps a custom-built money dispenser. Out fall some Two exit the booth, and Handy smiles, while still frankly unnerved.

"I'll see you later, Petunia." The beaver says, exiting the diner.

* * *

Handy glances around. A dark, damp alley in the crappy side of town, where rats are scurrying everywhere. Movement draws his attention to a dumpster within arms length of Handy (if he had them). The lid rises slowly, revealing four eyes staring directly at the out of place amputee. Handy glances down at his hammer, then back at the eyes.

The Lid swings open fully, revealing two green raccoons, Shifty and Lifty. "Hola Lieutenant Dan! We're here as planned." Shifty smirks, brushing some rubbish off his shoulder in Handy's direction. The beaver leaps out of the way to dodge it.

"Do you have it all set up?" Handy asks, giving the two a thorough look-over.

"Yeah. Do you have the money?" Shifty asks, glancing around for an eavesdroppers. Handy strikes the money dispenser on his belt again, and the coins fall to the floor and begin rolling away. Lifty leaps from the trashcan, greedily grabbing each coin as they roll by.

Handy looks down condescendingly at the desperation of the raccoon. "If I didn't know you two better, I'd think you have no dignity." he scoffs. "Now it's dusk, he's walking home from the circus. Coax him into the trap."

The Twins give their signature snicker, and disappear in the shadows.

* * *

Mime walks cautiously home from the circus, Hoping not to draw to much attention to himself. For a circus preformer, one would assume Mime could tolerate the Spotlight. It wasn't the spotlight that worried Mime. Being an amuzing circus clown was very different from being A John Coffey or Aslan the Lion. Being a Messiah to people meant someone was going to be violently opposed to me. He could compile a list of miraculous people who were unjustly killed: John Lennon, MLK Jr., Jesus, Larry Underwood, Jimi Hendrix, Godzilla...

Four hands grab his shoulders, and the clown leaps a clear foot in the air. "Hey Don't freak Pennywise the Clown! It's us, Shifty and Lifty." Shifty assures in a suave tone.

"Yeah, us and your cousin partied a while ago, remember the shindig with Sedated Titans?" Lifty adds, in an equally suave tone. They were not forcing Mime to walk, rather, when he made a turn they didn't want, they nudged him in the right direction, abusing the excuse 'We know a better route to your tent.' whenever this occured.

"So, what's on your mind, Bambi?" Lifty asks, a grin spreading wide across his face.

In mirror with his brother, a toothy smile rows ear to ear across Shifty's face. The Two let go of mime's shoulders, leaving him to walk away for a moment. Shifty calls to him, "Just make a right here and you'll be at the tent, Carrie White!" Shifty snickers after 'Carrie', and Lifty tugs on a previously unseen string.

An unsuspecting Mime looks up and sees a bucket strung to a horizontal flagg pole, deliver a payload of (he assumed) pig's blood. The Raccoons were watching intently a the blood came down. Time almost seemed to slow down, as the blood pool expanded in mid-air, turning from a liver red to a bright, almost cherry red. Mime gasps, raising his hands above his head. Shifty and Lifty's jaw drop, as the blood is invisibly siphoned into an unseen void.

Shifty closes his eyes, moments later, as the bitter, iron taste of blood came. He is taken back by an odd sensation - water pouring from his mouth. It didn't take the taste or the thickness to tell him it was blood, for Lifty was screaming 'BLOOD IS POURING OUT OF MY MOUTH!', before he could think of what was happening. The two fell to the ground, Lifty gagging, Shifty coughing up blood.

Mime watched awestruck, and in horror, knowing he caused it. Nutty and Russell had watched from across the street.

"Yar, what the hell just happened!" Russell mutters to himself.

Mime frantically danced, swinging his arms everywhere.

"I don't understand lad. Yar." He shakes his head in bemusement. Nutty jitters a bit, and muses ( in his own little way)

"Why don't you stay somewhere until this whole thing is over." He says in an out of character voice.

"Yar understanden him?" Russell spits in shock.

"He is Nick Andros I am Tom Cullen. He is a transmitter I am the reciever. He is the penis and I AM THE AIDS."

"Well then..."

"I's gots the perfect place for you to hide!"

**I probably should've told you this at the top, but there are no pairings in this story, just to calm you Phoenix Reece...if you want.**

**I've got to get over Stephen King, I mean, if you know what you're looking for...**


	3. Mit Letzten Kraft

**Thanks for the reviews.**

**Third Chapter! AMAZING!**

**You know, this story has a companion story, like if Harry Potter was told from Voldemort's POV.**

**I'm debating whether to put it on. Most likely not, as I said before.**

**Oward and downward for Mime!**

Handy stood in the doorframe, with a happy almost forced smile. "Hello dear sir, have you seen where Mime has gone? I am looking for him and he has disappeared."

Cuddles shrugs. "I haven't seen him. Not since last week, atleast. Maybe at the concert."

Handy is taken back by this but keeps on smiling. "Oh no, I know you've seen him. Would you please tell me where the hell he is?" He asked again, with a more urgent tone.

"Dude, I swear, If I see him, I'll tell you."

"Can I believe that statement? SHOULD I believe that statement?"

"Damnit Handy, leave me alone or we'll have to get Mr. Desert Eagle involved."

"FINE THEN!" Handy shouts, walking to his truck. Cuddles shuts the door and fumbles with the chain lock. He then peers out the window to see Handy screwing with his mailbox. Fumbling once again with the chain lock, the yellow Rabbit burst out the door and hurdles towards the mailbox. Handy shuts it with a swift upward tail motions, and he runs across the street and into the woods. "Damnit, Handy!" Cuddles shouts, shaking his fist. He sets his right hand on the mailbox. It explodes instantaneously.

* * *

The Mole turns to the next page of his upside down newspaper, nodding once every few moments. On the desk next to him, sat an old fashioned radio. The music was a jazz piece, and the singer had a bass voice. He sang:

_Oh The Shark has pretty teeth, dear,_

_and he wears them pearly white,_

_just a jackknife has MacHeath, dear,_

_and he keeps it out of sight._

"Oh, Bertolt Brecht and Loius Armstrong. Their music was what America wanted." Mole sighed in a just as deep voice. Nutty would be coming in fifteen minutes to check up on him. He had already heard word on Cuddles and Handy, and was now on edge. "You know, boy, I had a quickee with Jenny the Pirate during this song on Broadway. Her voice was soprano. I just love hearing the sweet music of a soprano. Unfortunately, Petunia has breast cancer, and won't be a soprano anymore." Mime stood up out of his seat, knocking over the chair. The Mole leapt a foot in the air.

"OH MY GOD, SOMEONE BESIDES ME IS IN THE HOUSE!" he shouts.

Mime thought for a moment. This was the perfect opprotunity! He'd save a girl from breast cancer. And he'd be a superhero, not a Messiah.

With that Mime ran out the door, and made a Beeline to the hospital.

* * *

Mime entered the room. It was dimly light, flourescent lights flickering on and off, making a stacatto humming. Petunia lay in a cot, wires and tubes connecting her to stood holding flowers, talking to her quietly. She looked half-asleep, with a white bag under her eyes.

Despite this scene, there was a feeling of pure happiness. One that radiated through the body like the beat of of the heart.

Sniffles lay the flowers on her nightstand, and left the room. It was almost as if the happiness left the room with him. Could Sniffles be the cause of this happiness? Mime thought, He shook his head, dismissing it. Too far out, he thought to himself.

He walks over to the edge of Petunia's cot. She strains to roll her head to see Mime, and every movement seemed to be a genuine strain of her energy. She smiles at Mime. "Hello Mime." she said in a voice that contrasted her lethargic behavior. "Mime, I've been hearing rumours about you lately, are they true?" she asks. Mime ignores her question, instead, he reached down and grabs Petunia's breasts.

He could feel the tumour enter his right hand, not as the malignant friend-killer, but as a seashell you found on the beach, one you'd keep for later. He lets go, and Petunia gasps a moment late. Despite the normal feeling restored in her breast, Mime still frisked her. She elbows him in the family jewels.

"What the fuck, Mime?" she barks. The room's door slams shut, an orange beaver standing between them and the door.

"What the fuck, indeed, Mime." He says in a smooth voice. "Messiahs don't rape women. Unless your name is Koresh." He says with a smile. He snickers at his own joke, and Petunia began to sink back into bed, under the covers. "I've been searching for the Messiah for a week now. Tearing up the whole town for a week".

Mime backed against the wall. Handy was begining to frighten him. "Show me a trick, would'ya, Oh Highest?" One could tell underneath the sincere voice, Handy was mocking Mime.

Handy grabs a jackknife from his toolbelt in his teeth. The Blade glistened. "How 'bout you stop meh fom kiwwing da Messiah!" He shouts, charging forward. Mime slaps the palms of his hand to Handy's face, and the Tumour flows out into Handy's brain, but not before the knife had already plunged into Mime's chest cavity.

The beaver opens his eyes to behold twirling colors. He runs at the monitors over Petunia's cot, and begins whacking them with his head. They begins failing one by one, and Petunia's heart stops. After the blows caused sufficient head trauma, Handy collapses to the ground, blood spurting from a wound in his temple. A Monitor falls on Petunia's barely living body, killing her.

The only one left was Mime. He stumbles towards the door, blood pouring from the wound underneath his hand. Before he could reach the handle, he topples forward, dead before he hit the ground.

Sniffles opens the door to see the commotion and gasps at the bloody horror. An apparent Messiah was dead on the ground.

**Meanwhile...** Flippy, who is strolling with Flaky in the park, suddenly falls to the ground. Flaky rushes over to help him. When he looks up, two evil green eyes stare at Flaky, lustful and hungry.

Fritz, who is explaining to orphans that they do not need to worry about death, suddenly falls dead because he died of being hit by a car, without being hit by a car.

Blood stopped pouring from Shifty and Lifty's mouthes, but it also disappeared from the rest of their bodies aswell, making a six minute long excruciating death.

And finally, the tumour returned to Petunia's breast, although why it mattered now, who knows.

Oh, You wanted a Happy Ending?

What do I look like a Miracle Worker!


End file.
